Did I think I would be the sole bidder? Yes. I did - because this medium sized orange ugly v neck shirt dress was that hideous. I wanted to win. I wanted the power. I wanted to be the one and only bid and win because I could.
It arrived today. I saw the seller's name on the return address on the unopened packet and smiled. I smiled because knew I would give this gaudy Chinese inspired top (which was too short for a dress) a home and wear it proudly for the mere fact that I knew no one else would. Bidding on it and winning it did not hurt my budget as it was merely $1.00 including shipping and handling. Lately, I have dabbled in wearing "outfits" which I consider fun to wear such as bohemian styles, ballet inspired workout gear, beach garb as well as Victorian wear hairstyle and all. Why not?
Not prepared was I for the beautiful color (coral meets tomato red meets raspberry and blueberry combined with a kiss of gold) which welcomed me as I opened the package. I was taken aback as I realized the eBay seller did not have a clue about how to advertise this item. For the color in the auction picture looked like an ugly pumpkin meets fiery sun yellow in the eBay ad. The v neck looked strangely set in black and white checkers along with a strange dark blue stitched Chinese inspired flower design which looked cheaply adhered in an odd placement in the picture.
In person the v neck checks were black with an antique golden yellow thread. The embroidery was beautiful black flowers set against the coral meets tomato red meets raspberry and blueberry combined with a kiss of gold lightweight comfortable fabric. What not to love? Breathtakingly beautiful and unique!
And so, I sat down and took it all in. Lord, this is a reminder to me of not judging by a first glance of what a situation seems to be. I mockingly chose this item because I challenged the premise of being the only one to offer wearing this homely top. I appointed myself the role of feeling special and being able to shock others all at first glance. Pride. Mockery. Power.
Of course, I considered this item to be a good beach coverup for summer and just merely toyed with the idea of wearing it out in public (pride). But I did figure wearing it in the privacy of my own home knowing it was ugly and I was the only bidder - somehow gave me great satisfaction.
And then conviction sunk in. Did the seller of this item enjoy this item? Need the money that a high bid would yield but which never surfaced as a result of a bad image? Sacrificed this potential favorite item to feed his/her family but only received a dollar for? Thoughts crept through my mind as I held this angelically soft, newly laundered and beautifully colored flowery scented item.
I am so sorry God. I judged a "book by its cover." I made a decision without all the facts. I exerted my influence in another person's weak situation. I almost felt like returning this item in this moment of discovery. I did not feel worthy of enjoying this beautiful find.
If you saw the color of this garment, you would agree with me that it is special and beautiful. The fabric is a comfortable gauze and a warm kiss to my shoulders. I have never seen let alone owned such a beautiful item. I somehow feel this possession should not belong to me. Someone else should own it and wear it and enjoy it. Not me. I gained and the seller lost.
Tears flow as I sit here and write all the while looking down at my beautifully embellished shirt dress which only God could have provided. I pray for the seller and throw a grateful prayer his or her way. I will never know the owner of this $1.00 item. No one else will understand how beautiful I feel, how special or how undeserving as I am humbly sit typing this devo adorned in the opposite of an ugly pumpkin fiery yellow sun color outfit. I happily sit in coral meets tomato red meets raspberry and blueberry combined with a kiss of gold. I am adorned in this outfit only because God knew no one else would be willing to save the "ugly duckling" from everyone else. I operated in pride but ended in humility and now God is rewarding me.
I know that I am loved. I know that only God would use an outfit to teach me more about myself than I could have ever learned on my own. I am grateful to know that God will teach me and guide me and come alongside me as I navigate through life - all the while resplendent in coral meets tomato red meets raspberry and blueberry combined with a kiss of gold. Not only that but with 5 black embroidered petal flowers on my back left shoulder. God will go above and beyond to let you know He is crazy about you. God cares about everything! Take time to be corrected and He will adorn you this side of Heaven in colors you never knew existed. No one else will. But God will. And I am proof!